I’ve come to terms with the fact that I’m not done with breast cancer yet. But I don’t have to like it, and I don’t have to pretend that I’m entirely okay. I need help. Still in therapy, meeting with my care team on Thursday to come up with a game plan to get rid of this stupid little 6 mm bastard of a tumor, and then meeting with the plastic surgeon the following Monday to discuss Tits 3.0.

It’s a lot. What’s keeping me sane right now, aside from my family, Netflix Comedy Specials, and cat videos on Facebook, is my work. Y’all, I get to kill breast cancer cells ALL THE TIME in the lab. It’s so cathartic and gratifying. I wish with all my heart it was as easy to kill cancer cells in patients as it is in little plastic dishes. It’s not, but what we discover in little plastic dishes could eventually lead to the next cancer therapy.

My amazing student, who’s working with cancer cells that are similar to mine (hormone receptor positive), saved a plate for me. Not only did she save a plate, she decorated it with an adorkable “destroy me” tag that made me giggle snort.

I adore her.

Naturally, we decided to video me killing cancer cells.

As noted in the video, please for the love of your health, do NOT drink hydrogen peroxide to kill you tumor. It’s #toxic and not in a way that will target your cancer. But, as you can (hopefully) see, it stresses out the cells in the dish, overwhelming their defenses against oxidative stress to the point of death.

But, having the power to kill tumor cells that are similar to those growing in my body helped me on a psychological level. And if any patients or survivors want me to kill cancer cells like yours in the lab, I’m down! Hit me up. I can use chemo drugs, approved and experimental cancer drugs, peroxide, detergents, soda (it totally works), you name it. Let’s get creative!